On July 15th

I got BRACES!!! I was going to tell you earlier but, I have been rather busy lately. I was in SO much pain the first three days!! but I am feeling MUCH better now! It sucks not being able to eat the same things as I used to be able to. Now I have to watch what and how I eat.... its lame!! It was SUPER hard to eat that Tootsie Roll Sucker at work the other day! But I will have them on for 20 months.... which I did the math and I will have them on three months after Elder Von Sowards gets home from his mission. Which will be kinda, really different. I hope he doesn't mind :) but my friends said that she had to have her braces on for 12 months (a year) and she double rubberbanded her braces (just wore two when she needed to wear rubberbands) and she said that sped the process up and it hurt, but it was worth getting them off four months early. Which I agree 100%. So if I double rubberband I am hoping it will take off three months of needing to wear them. It was funny because someone at my work asked me what I would do if I got engaged. I told her I would smile :) haha I hadn't thought of that. Mainly because I wasn't thinking of being engaged anytime soon. Well I have been doing well since then. I sometimes I forget that I have braces on. I think my favorite comment/complement was from Scott at work he said "Whitney-- You look cute with braces, most people look ugly with them on. But not you" All I could say was "uh.... thanks Scott" smile and walk away haha. I thought he was hitting on me at first because he has hit on all the girls at work.

Today was eventful... I guess you could say. I watched the niece and nephew and then somewhat helped my sister pack... they just won't have clothes for a while :D hahaha then I came home and cleaned the front room and the piano room and the kitchen. Then I helped my dad in the back yard until he hurt himself.... then I worked by myself. I forcefully sent my parents out to eat for dinner :D I am a terrible daughter hahaha. Then I weedwacked the whole front lawn... now tomorrow I get to clean up from that mess. But I am excited for tomorrow. My mom doesn't know, but I scheduled her for a message with Sister Fletcher. Whom I hear is AMAZING!!! and then I will get my little session after her :) I am excited. It has been over 6 years since my mom has had a real message by someone that has a license and not from her 18 year old daughter who's thumbs KILL after 5 minutes of messaging her shoulders. Thats why I can't be a Message Therapist.

I was going to go horse back riding tomorrow with Tom and dad tomorrow but I can do that anytime.... Sister Fletcher will be leaving soon so I can't do that just any old time haha.

I am tired and I can't figure out why.... I usually don't go to bed till 4 hours from now. huh. weird. Well I think I will continue to listen to good romantic music and maybe clean my room.... main word was maybe. :D

Step one....

Today I woke up at 8:20 and I had a dentist appointment at 8:30. SO I called the office and she told me not to come in and if her 9 o'clock canceled then I could come in. Well she calls me at 9:10 telling me that the 9 o'clock didn't come in, that they over slept as well. SO I went in and they proceeded to numb me.... 3 shots.... ugh.... I hate the feeling of being numb... and they began to drill. It is funny what you think about while they are drilling into your teeth. For example last time I got cavities filled I was a senior in high school (just a little over a year ago). After school I walked up to "3" the conversation went a little like this: 3 "What's wrong with your face?" "Its good to see you too :) I had to go to the dentist and my lip and cheek is numb" "Oh, I wonder what it would feel like to kiss with a numb lip" I tried to persuade him that if he kissed me I would let him know what it felt like. Unfortunately he did not proceed to kiss me :/ so I thought about it in my mind and couldn't help but smile and giggle. and then my memory was interrupted by a rude tugging on my tooth!! Oh well. So now I am sitting in front of the TV trying not to be in pain while my face is un-numbing. Its funny how much pain your face is in while it is numb. :) good day! Can't wait to see how the rest of the day goes. Tonight is going to be fun!! GIRLS NIGHT!!! I will be late! but I will have fun! I am determined! :D

Scholarships are amazing

I didn't realize how much a scholarship helped out with college. If you have a scholarship do ALL that you can to keep it! It is not fun having to pay for college yourself. Ugh. I am not pleased with myself. Over $1000 in classes this one semester. Today was a stressful day enough. I found out that I am going to pay around $4000 for my braces (luckily I can do this in payments and not right up in front like school :P). I just have not been having good days lately. I need to start running or something, to get all this stress build up gone! I am so glad that institute is free! It is really the only class that I can afford to take! Which is a good thing because I want to take that class and I don't HAVE to take it for photography.

Thanks for listening to my little fit.

Goodnight.... maybe

Time to think

So I got this new job! Nothing TOO exciting. Today was my fourth day (but who's counting?). The first three days I did nothing but cut dots all day. Oh, maybe I should tell you where I work before I start telling you :) haha I work at Severtson Corp which is a theater screen making company. Cool huh? You know those big screens that are hanging up in the IMAX theaters? Ya... I make those :D But anyhow.... So the first three days (24 hours) I cut dots in half and today I got to work the machines... Which I am still debating which one I prefer to do. Well I have a great team that I work with. Shannen (the manager), Justine, Tialene, Grace and Kelcie. Now Kelcie and I got to talk for two and a half hours on my first day, so we learned a lot about each other. She is related to Andrew and Tim. I had a lot of fun talking with her.

Working and cutting dots all day long in a warehouse that doesn't have any music (except for today) it gives you a lot of time to think. Lately I have been thinking of the one and only Von.... Especially today. I miss him so much. I haven't heard from him in a few weeks either. I'm not sure if he got my last letter because I sent it to the mission home instead of him... Which I'm not sure if that would take longer... But I didn't think it would take this long. I check the mailbox everyday hoping to get a letter from him. You see we were best friends for a good three years before he left on his mission. Those were amazing three years. Some of my fondest memories are from those three years. I love him and I miss my best friend a lot.

The first day I thought a lot about the gospel and I don't know why but I was humming hymns to myself a lot. I think this job is going to be great as long as I keep this time of thinking in check. Only positive thoughts!! I can do this! I am SO excited for this job!! :D

Stop and think, you always don't have to be listening to music, or playing on the computer. Just stop and think and listen... My favorite time to think is under the stars.... but living in the city you can't really see them. But when I am under a blanket of stars (and one of wool) I love to just sit and ponder about life, about now, the future and lessons of the past. Let those you love know you love them before its too late. Actions speech louder than words!

Have a great night :)

Today

Today was mothers day. We made my mother breakfast. At church I gave a talk about my mother, I ended up crying while I was giving it... So did my mother and several others as I hear. Then we got home I told my family to come over to the house for a surprise party for my mom. That didn't work out so well. I wasn't really prepared and neither were my siblings. I should never plan parties EVER again!! I can only ever be in charge of invites, my wedding reception is NOT going to be fun hahahahaha. We'll just wait and see how that goes though. As Sister Clarkson was giving her talk about motherhood I just sat there and thought (like I always do, this can sometimes be a very dangerous thing). I can't and can wait to be a mother. I have mixed feelings... but whenever I think of my future children I can't help but think of what a friend said one day, and that is all I can think about. Today was a great day though. I am so thankful for my mother and all that she has taught me and all that I have learned through her example. It is great knowing that through her example I will be a great mom just like she is to me and my siblings. I am thankful that the Lord allowed me to come to this family, I wouldn't want to be a part of another family because I love this one too much.

ugh....

Alright, so I don't understand boys. This shouldn't come as a surprise to any of you girls :) haha. So since I was 16, 3 boys have told me that they love me. One I was interested in when he said that he did and the other told me after the time that I was interested in them had passed. The one and only boy that I had ever said that to never said it to me. He kind of just looked at me and the silent awkwardness grew stronger and stronger between us, so I no longer mentioned the subject to him again. Nor do I believe that he will. Then all the guys that are interested in me I'm not really interested in. But the one that I was interested in acted like he was interested in me as well in fact, we held hands, cuddled and got rather close to our first but alas, I did something and he no longer called upon me. Whatever.... Story of my life. So now that I am not sure what I want because my heart has been broken once again the boys keep coming and saying that they are interested and I have no idea what I feel.... Its NOT a great feeling let me tell you. I know what is like on the other side of rejection and it isn't the best. So here I am listening to sappy love songs, reading a romance novel and am about ready to start crying because all I can think about is what is wrong with me that I can't feel anything for the guys who are interested or say that they love me. Maybe I just need to complain and so this is me complaining... but i am tired of this. I look at all my friends who are in a relationship, engaged or married and they are so happy. I can't wait for marriage, no more of this hahaha, or so I hear. Maybe I should just take my own advice: before holding his hand and hanging out with him frequently, think about what you feel for him. That way when he says that he'd like to be your boyfriend you aren't completely caught off guard and you don't go through a lot of heartache. It's for the best. Just sit down and think. Turn off the music, turn off the tv, put down the book, turn the phone on silent, get down on your knees and pray.

Complaint

I am filing a complaint. I know that it isn't a good characteristic to complain but I think I am going to do it anyway. So, I don't understand. So I've heard there are a lot of guys "after" me. They would love to be my bf. Well the sad thing is, I am not interested in any of these great guys. Either they are ready for marriage, just not my type, or everything I have ever wanted but I am just not attracted to them in anyway! There is no chemistry. I can't like them no matter how hard I try. They all tease too much. I can handle teasing but after a while I get sick of it.
I feel like my heart can't feel anymore. That could explain why I have been feeling so empty lately. The last time I let my heart fall in love with someone they turned around and broke it. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. In a very long time in fact. I wanted him to be with me. I thought we would make a great couple, but he had other thoughts. He didn't want anything to do with me after the second date. Although he had already held my hand and got really close to kissing me, but apparently that meant nothing to him when it meant everything to me. Why do guys not understand the concept of girls? I have no idea what goes through a guys mind (probably just food or something) when girls are constantly thinking about things. Ugh. I'm just tired of being alone I guess. Everyone tells me that I could fix that because of the guys that I know. But I don't want to put them through the pain of dating me when I don't have feelings for them in that way. I couldn't allow myself to do that. I should stop now while I am ahead of myself and not drive all my readers away. Thank you for listening to my sob-story of what is going through my mind tonight.